Atheists believe in 1 less god than you do

Believe in Gosh or be darned to Heck.

 Science: proof without any certainty.
Religion: certainty without any proof.

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.
Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

On the sixth day God created man
On the seventh day, man returned the favor.

"I viewed my fellow man not as a
fallen angel, but as a risen ape"
[Desmond Morris, "The Naked Ape"]

"Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich"

Frisbeetarianism, n.:
The belief that when you die, your soul goes up
on the roof and gets stuck.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that
each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

"There are no atheists in foxholes" isn't an argument
against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes."
[James Morrow]

"For god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son,
that whosoever would believe in him would believe in anything."

And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"
They replied,"You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of
our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very
selfhood revealed."
And Jesus replied, "What?"

Why be born again, when you can just grow up?

A zealot's stones will break my bones, but gods will never hurt me.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish

Man created God in his own image.

God hated the world so much that he sent his only
son so that whoever does not believe in him will
perish and be denied eternal life.

If there were a god, there would be no need for religion.
If there were not a god, there would be no need for religion."
[Ron Barrier, Rbargodnow@aol.com]

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous
as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
[Cardinal Bellarmino 1615, during the trial of Galileo]

"If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?"

A mystic is a person who is puzzled before the
obvious but who understands the nonexistent"
[Elbert Hubbard]

"My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here
in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than
were permissible under English law at that time."
[Garrison Keillor]

Xtian (at crucifixion): "<snif> It's a shame he has to die"
Jesus (shouting from cross): "Well maybe I wouldn't have to
die if somebody would get a LADDER and a pair of PLIERS!!"
[Kinison, 0:0]
-------

"And lo, Jesus did say unto the soldiers 'Not the OTHER hand.
Ow shit, that hurts! You assholes!' "
[2 Kinison 3:45]

"In the brain of every religious person there is a god-shaped vacuum."
[Jeremy Konopka on alt.atheism]